VACAVILLE LADY KNIGHTS SOCCER TEAM
U-11 Girls Soccer Team
Vacaville, California

TIPS

The role that parents play in the life of a soccer player has a tremendous impact on their experience. With this in mind, we have taken some time to write down some helpful reminders for all of us as we approach the upcoming season. If you should have any questions about these thoughts, please feel free to discuss it with your coach.

Let the coaches coach:
Leave the coaching to the coach(es). This includes motivating, psyching your daughter for practice, after game critiquing, setting goals, requiring additional training, etc. You have entrusted the care of your player to the coach(es) and they need to be free to do their job. If a player has too many coaches, it is confusing for her and her performance usually declines.

1. Support the program:
Get involved. Volunteer. Help out with fundraisers, car-pool; anything to support the program.

2. Be your daughter's best fan:
Support your daughter unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when she performs poorly. Your daughter should never have to perform to win your love.

3. Support and root for all players on the team:
Foster teamwork. Your daughter's teammates are not the enemy. When they are playing better than your daughter, your daughter now has a wonderful opportunity to learn.

4. Do not bribe or offer incentives:
Your job is not to motivate. Leave this to the coaching staff. Bribes will distract your player from properly concentrating in practice and game situations.

6. Understand and display appropriate game behavior:
Remember, your daughter's self esteem and game performance is at stake. Be supportive, cheer, be appropriate. To perform to the best of her abilities, a player needs to focus on the parts of the game that they can control (his fitness, positioning, decision making, skill, aggressiveness, what the game is presenting them). If she starts focusing on what she can not control (the condition of the field, the referee, the weather, the opponent, even the outcome of the game at times), she will not play up to his ability. If he hears a lot of people telling her what to do, or yelling at the referee, it diverts her attention away from the task at hand.

7. Monitor your daughter's stress level at home:
Keep an eye on the player to make sure that they are handling stress effectively from the various activities in his life.

8. Monitor eating and sleeping habits:
Be sure your daughter is eating the proper foods and getting adequate rest.

9. Help your daughter keep his priorities straight:
Help your daughter maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and the other things in life beside soccer. Also, if your daughter has made a commitment to soccer, help her fulfill his obligation to the team.

10. Reality test:
If your daughter has come off the field when her team has lost, but she has played his best, help her to see this as a "win". Remind her that she is to focus on "process" and not "results". Her fun and satisfaction should be derived from "striving to win". Conversely, she should be as satisfied from success that occurs despite inadequate preparation and performance.

11. Keep soccer in its proper perspective:
Soccer should not be larger than life for you. If your daughter's performance produces strong emotions in you, suppress them. Remember your relationship will continue with your children long after their competitive soccer days are over. Keep your goals and needs separate from your daughter's experience.

12. Have fun:
That is what we will be trying to do! We will try to challenge your daughter to reach past their "comfort level" and improve themselves as a player, and thus, a person. We will attempt to do this in environments that are fun, yet challenging. We look forward to this process. We hope you do to !!!

Used with permission: New Hampshire Soccer Association